sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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