I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
