Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
