My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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