So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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