oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
