When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
