atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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