guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
