Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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