Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
