You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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