Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
