i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
