can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
