honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
