so that wasnt chicken after all
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
