Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.

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(855): View more from

somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs

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(269): View more from Michigan

Pants 0. Shit 1.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....

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(318): View more from Louisiana

i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what?how do you know?

(318): View more from Louisiana

it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.

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(408): View more from California

sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.

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(209): View more from California

Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.

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