When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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