I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
