did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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