spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All I want is dick and wine.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
