I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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