I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
