she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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