so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
