There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
