I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
