Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
