i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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