Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
