omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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