im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
