Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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