chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
