You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize