Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
