I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize