The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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