people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
