you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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