Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this just has baby written all over it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
