My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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