yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
