Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
