Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
