do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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