If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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