I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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