Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
