Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
