Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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