Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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