So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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