Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
