If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
PANTIES FOUND
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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