fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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