mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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