Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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