Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
